Peregrinations With The Pensioner.

Mountain Bike Ride.

The Pensioner, The Fireman

26th October route

Dull but dry said the weatherman. Some breaks in the cloud allowed rays of sunlight to beam through in a picturesque fashion, all very crepuscular, as The Bread Lad might say; never one to pass up a chance to shoehorn his new favourite word into the conversation. Three of met up under the aforementioned dull sky in Danby. A brief discussion ensued regarding The Pensioner’s current capabilities, before we found ourselves following him up the road toward Clitherbeck Farm. Heading offroad across Castleton Pits, the wind was against us, naturally part of the universe’s great plan to make The Pensioner’s life more difficult and nothing to do with being an autumnal day in late October. A steady drag up the road to Danby Beacon, one of the Terra Trailblazers’ NSP’s (Natural Stopping Points), although the cold wind and lack of views today meant we did not hang about too long. Some sublime singletrack over Roxby Moor beckoned, still pleasantly dry, The Fireman and me took advantage,careening across it as though we were being followed by the hounds of hell, not an irascible sexagenerian.

We took it a bit easier for the next section, making our way to Hardale Beck and it’s unattractively named Strava segment - The Slagbag, a climb as gruesome as its title, steep and loose, lung-burstingly steep, The Fireman cruised up it, me and The Pensioner took things more leisurely. Riding across the moor to Green Houses, we were battling the wind again but the sun began to break through for longer periods; by the time we were on the Oakley Walls road the wind was behind us and everything was well with world. At Oakley Side, a group decision was made to retrace our tyre tracks to Clitherbeck, wind and gravity assisted riding getting closer to the cafe; what could be better?

Our final bit of offroad, Lord’s Turnpike, today a bit muddy, a bit damp and against the wind again, fortunately the ultimate section is steeply downhill, passing the famous “Beware Of Flying Bees” sign and down into Danby. The Stonehouse Bakery was fairly full, it being half term but we were able to squeeze around a small table to ensure The Pensioner was not denied his mandatory post-ride pot of tea. Calories replenished, we left the cafe and walked into a summer’s day which had somehow appeared as we ate, a pleasant end to the day unless you are The Pensioner for whom it was merely further evidence of life’s great plot against him because it ought to have been warm and sunny all day.