May Round-up And Video

May Round-up And Video

Video - click here

The general consensus will have to be that May was not as good as it looks on the video. Sunny days were plentiful but the temperatures never managed to match the appearance, a bit of cosmic window dressing to fool us into thinking we could drag our summer riding kit from the bottom of the wardrobe, only to find ourselves shivering on windswept hilltops.

Plenty of Billy No Mates rides for me owing to the non appearance of just about everyone except for The Ginger One and The Pensioner. Thousands of pounds worth of bikes sitting in garages and sheds while their owner's atrophy in the name of domestic harmony.

The Pensioner’s default settings of despondency and misanthropy evaporated with the delivery of his electric bike, leading to the bizarre situation of a grinning OAP waiting for us at the top of climbs and whirring past as we grind it out on the ascents. Such is his new found enthusiasm, he rode six out of seven days on his new toy, just when we were beginning to think the only voltage which would get him going was a defibrillator.

At one point the road bike saw daylight for the first time since Xmas, for a ride, with the anorexics, round the Yorkshire Dales. The 29er was treated to a new drivetrain, joined the modern world and changed it to 1x10 with a 32 tooth oval front ring, another good job done by the lads at Stockton Cycling And Running. On one ride during the month I even managed some good old fashioned Boulder And Bike, a ride round Guisborough Woods, Newton Moor and Easby Moor mixed with a spot of climbing on Cook’s Crags.

According to the weather forecasters, June and July are going to be the hottest months since The Day The Earth Stood Still, although with only two days until June, it is still colder than an ex-wife’s stare.

Bicycling With The Bionic Man.

Mountain Biking

The Pensioner

27th May 2016 Route

28th May 2016 Route

It has been a surreal two days, after more than a decade of waiting at the top of hills for The Pensioner to catch up, it comes as a shock to have him whirring past while I suffer the usual leg-burning, heart-pounding, breathless, gurning, ignominy grinding up the steepest gradients.  The Pensioner has finally purchased a Haibike, motor assisted mountain bike, giving him new found enthusiasm and us an increase in our training load. No more chatting amongst ourselves as we politely ignore the old bloke bent over his crossbar panting like a paedo in a playground, the leisurely pedalling as we try not to leave him too far in the distance, the waiting at every junction so he does not ride into the distance; now we must put in an extra spurt to keep up with him, big efforts are required even to keep him in sight on ascents, never mind catch him. Good job his singletrack and descending skills are still lacking or else we would be totally inferior to a mono-lunged sexegenerian.

My first experience began from Clay Bank, from where we made our to Urra Moor by a route through Greenhow Plantation because the steps up Carr Ridge are pretty much out of bounds for someone trying to push or carry a 60lb bicycle uphill, especially someone nearer 70 than 60 years of age. A fallen tree almost halted progress, a bit of team weightlifting occurred and we were back on track. From Round Hill, we continued on The Pensioner’s favourite type of tracks, open and wide, plenty of light and no obstacles, he cruised at breakneck speed (by his standards) until Stump Cross came into view. The descent to Bransdale is everything a mountain biker could wish for, narrow singletrack through purple heather, the occasional technical section and a steep finish down a shale drop. The Pensioner’s electric assistance was no assistance here, balance, skill and some semblance of vision being more use than volts. He reverted to his default position of old bloke at the back. Of course, he regained his mojo on the steep road climb out of Bransdale and the sandy drag back to Stump Cross. Tripsdale was our next objective, reached by more wide tracks, pleasantly downhill until the loose, steep zig-zags shoot us over the stream and up the other side, equally steep but now battling against gravity. Bionic Bike Boy rampaged up while I panted in his wake, complete role reversal as he sat and waited at the summit for me to catch up. Descending Medd Crag was a last treat before we finished the ride with a bit of tarmac to return to the car park.

The following day, my second ride, The Pensioner’s sixth - so much enthusiasm from one so old, we met at Scaling Dam for a ride about the adjacent moorland. The first climb of the route is known on Stava as The Slagbag, from the ford at Hardale Beck, a vertical line of grass and gravel which leaves ascensionists feeling like as though their lungs have been turned inside out. Struggling up, I watched The Pensioner disappear into the distance as battery power hauled him skyward. The rest of the ride continued in similar vein until we  reached the SIs Cross Path above Danby being narrow singletrack for the most part, it calmed down The Pensioner’s newly-found Billy Whizz tendencies. Climbing up to Danby Beacon later, The Pensioner had the opportunity to cruise past a couple of roadies but he would not take it. From the beacon,  the regular route back to Scaling Dam  - the Roxby Moor singletrack - beckoned, cutting across the moor for a speedy return. The Pensioner even managed this at a reasonable speed such is the power of electricity. We were tucking into bacon sandwiches, courtesy of the catering van, a mere two and a half hours after leaving the car park, no more four and five hour epics - not until his battery runs out anyway.

A Quartet Of Quality.

It must be said wringing out 500 words out of bike rides where notable/humorous/embarrassing/painful incidents are in short supply takes some doing without it becoming merely a dull route description hence these portmanteau posts which are mainly a vehicle to slap some photo’s on. Without further ado, here are another four, spread out over a couple of weeks in May.

Selfie Filming on Sutton Bank.

Mountain Bike RIde

12th May Route

For amateur MTB film makers, selfie filming is definitely the way to go, the performer is always in tune with the director’s needs for a particular shot, muttered grumbling when repeating sequences “for the camera”  is kept to a minimum and quite often, you get to ride the best bits of trail several times. Which is a regular situation nowadays with biking being usurped by activity of a less-arduous nature for most of our former participants. Today even the hard-core of regular riders who can be relied on to turn out week after week regardless of bad weather and irrespective of domestic harmony were otherwise indisposed, so out came the mini-tripod ready to film some hardcore, “in the flow” action as only us over-fifties are able to demonstrate. The actual ride was a loop from Sutton Bank car park, taking in bits of the waymarked routes plus a venture further afield, through Scawton to Old Byland, taking in Nettledale.

Skinny Tyres With Skinny Boys

Road Bike Ride

13th May Route

For the first time in six months, the road bike was dragged from the back of the shed; looking like something on the back of a ragman’s cart,  back wheel a bit buckled, spokes rusty, worn brakes and handlebar tape tattier than a tramp’s underpants, all in an attempt to conform to Chairman Whelan’s warped vision of cycling. Naturally his bike was pristine, having seen less action than Stephen Hawking’s shoes, three other riders bolstered his delusion by turning up with a similar degree of obsessive neatness and minimalism.

The route will have to be largely unreported because, for the majority of it, I had no idea where we could be, only Pateley Bridge, Fountains Abbey and Brimham Rocks were familiar. And Masham, where we passed (passed?) the brewery twice. There were some hills, which is only natural for a Chairman Whelan route, the obesophobics disappeared into the distance on these hills, as I ascended at a more leisurely pace, taking comforting bites from a family-size pork pie in my back pocket to assuage my loneliness. Of course, my superior weight advantage ought to have seen positions reversed on the downhills but the wavy nature of my rear rim precluded tightening the brake caliper, leaving only the front brake to perform speed reduction duty. On the plus side, we did have two cafe stops, mainly to warm up - the weather being unseasonably cold.

Guisborough With The Ginger One.

Mountain Bike Ride

19th May Route

As one of the dwindling band of Terra Trailblazers regulars, The Ginger One is able to escape Darlington and enter the 21st century when he leaves the Victorian anachronism of a hometown behind. Today we had a scrounge about Guisborough Woods, enjoying some of the more interesting downhill tracks and cursing the ascents to reach their starts. A couple of tumbles occurred which show we were trying hard enough, or perhaps we were not hard enough for the tracks. I managed to bin it riding down from The Nipple, when a rut through me into the heather; The Ginger One made a spectacular dismount on a narrow section of the S.O.W.track. The sun was mostly out and the trails were wholly dry, the cafe saw to our calorific replenishment quite adequately and we did not have to use the bike wash. Result.

Lordstones With The Pensioner.

Mountain Bike Ride

20th May Route

A few hours with The Pensioner, taking in his unique outlook on life, a mixture of negativity, despondency and cantankerousness. His aura a black hole sucking in any traces of hope or optimism, every aspect of the ride reviled, from the weather, the ascents, the descents, the puddles to the quality of the post-ride tea and the pouring action of the teapot. And this is when he is enjoying himself. The ride itself was pretty uneventful, a straightforward pedal along The Fronts from Lordstones to Clay Bank, down the (closed) road to Chop Gate, which was enjoyable, back up to Beak Hills to reverse The Fronts and directly to the cafe. Considering it was spitting on to rain as we departed the car park, the weather managed to stay reasonable, even approaching warmth at some points.

A Temperate Trio.

Boulder And Bike

4th May Route

Back in the dim and distant past I was a dedicated rock climber and then a few people began to buy these new-fangled mountain bike things, mainly for cross-training and weight management. Always looking for the extra edge, I gave it a go, buying a Marin hardtail from the area’s only specialist mountain bike emporium. Gradually the climbing was usurped by the cycling until today’s position was arrived at, predominantly biking with the occasional venture onto rock. In the early days, however, boulder and bike was a popular way of spending a day, adding a pair of climbing shoes and a chalk bag to the Camelback and pedalling to some idyllic boulders to polish off a few problems. Nowadays nobody would dream of bouldering without a huge mat to land on when they fail at a problem, but we were made of sterner stuff in those days and never fell off, an incipient broken ankle being a great improver of grip strength and technique. Bouldering mats have the aerodynamics of the average bungalow and are not really designed to be carried on a bike, so it seems boulder and bike has fell from favour somewhat. Until today when I was able to meet up with the daughter and some other ‘bloody students’, who were whiling away an afternoon bouldering around the Captain Cooks Monument area. Being students, the concept of a morning activity which takes place outside the duvet, was unthinkable, so I had a few pre-noon hours to ride about before meeting up with them and their collection of ankle protecting mats. And very enjoyable it was too, me imparting my in depth knowledge of how much better the climbs were thirty years ago, while they mainly wondered who this scruffy old bloke was bouncing about on their mats.

Some riding occurred too, the highlight being the new, improved Lover’s Ledge at Guisborough Woods, now bereft of trees, it’s fast and open, dried up a treat, the trail fairies have even conjured up a few jumps at the start which make it even more fun.

Danby With The Pensioner

5th May Route

Another damn fine day and managed to lever The Pensioner onto his bike for a steady ride over Ainthorpe Rigg and around Danby Beacon. One of us (the under 60 one) was on course for a dab free ascent of Ainthorpe Rigg until a snapped chain had me suddenly reversing down the hill until I had the sense to use the brakes. Whipping out my trusty chain tool to remove the damaged link, the pin broke, The Pensioner produced his, gave me the benefit of a short lecture regarding cheap tools and continued up the hill, trusting I’d catch him up eventually.

The bridleway between Stonebeck Gate Farm and Crag Farm was in exemplary condition delivering us easily to Lawns Road where we began a convoluted climb to Danby Beacon. A bunch of people were having a picnic despite the chilly wind howling across the moor, leaving them to it, we explored another lesser known bridleway across the moor above Oakley Walls. Another futile exercise incorporating exercise ensued, vague tracks meandered in and out of peat hags before disappearing completely, leaving us to forge a route through tussocks of grass and heather, all with a soundtrack of extreme profanity and verbal aspersions on the parentage of the map makers.

Lordstones With The Ginger One.

11th May Route

The dry weather is continuing, as is the sunshine unfortunately the wind seems to be permanently set northeasterly so we do not have temperatures to match the visuals. Pretty good for bike riding though, not too hot and sweaty. Another practicing for the lakes sort of day, for me and The Ginger One, three big pushes up unrideable hillsides, up steps and over rocks, all for the reward of some splendid, dry singletrack. Marvellous it was too, made even better by being back on the twenty niner for the first ride since the boys at Stockton Cycling And Running changed the drivetrain to a 1x10 set up.