Fun In The Snow.

Mountain Bike Ride

Benny The Brawl, The Youth, The Ginger One

22nd January 2018 route


Sir Edmund Hillary
"Despite all I have seen and experienced, I still get the same simple thrill out of glimpsing a tiny patch of snow in a high mountain gully and feel the same urge to climb toward it."

Benny The Brawl
“It’s just shite. Why are we even doing this?”

Not for Benny the quiet majesty of a snow blanketed landscape, the challenge of riding an ice-covered trail, the giggling slide down an off-piste hillside. Cruelly wrenched from the centrally heated fug of his bedroom, the heroic adventure of his last Playstation game still tingling in his thumbs and deposited in an icy car park in North Yorkshire, the moaning began as soon the outdoor air hit his body. This set the pattern for the day, three enthusiasts spending a lot of time waiting for one snowflake. The Ginger One attempted some gentle words of encouragement, although unfavourably comparing an 18 year old to the world’s laziest sexagenerian cyclist, our erstwhile companion, The Captain, only served to fuel Benny’s righteous indignation. The main gist of his argument seemed to be only people suffering some sort of mental illness could conceivably find fun in being outdoors on a crisp white winter’s day. Seventy five percent of today’s little crew certifiably insane; one voice of reason from the back, attempting to persuade us to his way of thinking with a cunning mixture of petulance and profanity. He failed and we slowly (very slowly in some cases) but surely made our way from Pinchinthorpe to Roseberry Common.

A pleasant and lengthy downhill track presented itself as an option, thinking a bit of gravity-assisted riding might please our pet adolescent, we set off through the snow, control and grip optional extras, stopping at a junction, we found ourselves waiting again for Invisiben, who eventually arrived with a face like a slapped arse. A quick snowball fight gave him a chance to vent some of his anger before we moved on to the Elephants Hole where The Youth gave us a quick demo of his climbing prowess. Returning to Roseberry Common via Aireyholme Farm presented a few more challenges of the steep and slippery nature, not necessarily enjoyed by all of our party,  prior to the climb from the farm.

The steps to Newton Moor were covered in snow and ice, treacherous for those of us wearing smooth soled 5:10 shoes but we gave them a try anyway, this proved to be a step too far for Benny, people have projectile vomited further than he walked up the steps. Hanging about in the freezing cold at the top, it took us a while to realise we were now a trio and Benny was taking his chances alone in the snowy wastes of North Yorkshire. An enjoyable but ultimately flawed descent of Little Roseberry followed, the  track punishing our lack of prowess like an icy dominatrix. The Youth succumbed to one last attack of bravado on the steep Hospital Corner, artfully manipulated into being the guinea pig, track tester by The Ginger One; it didn't end well, blood was shed but only The Youth's, The Ginger One wisely took the fire road option.

We returned to Pinchinthorpe car park and found Benny The Brawl in his safe place, the front seat of his vintage Vauxhall Corsa, listening to what cannot even be loosely described as music.