Mountain Bike Ride.
The Ginger One, The Trainee, The Other Fireman.
The country was visited by a blustery chap called Desmond over the weekend, leaving his legacy of famine, flood and pestilence (well, maybe not the famine or pestilence) but definitely a swathe of misery over the North of England, the North West suffered particularly badly, news reports from Keswick, venue for many a Terra Trailblazers adventure over the years were terrible to see. Our venue for today, Hamsterley Forest, was closed by fallen trees blocking the access roads on Saturday but had reopened by today, Tuesday, although, as we were to find several times during the ride the trails still bore the effects of a weekend of 60mph+ winds.
The car park was fairly busy with like minded folk disgorging bikes from cars and vans, under a rainbow which signalled the end of the showers for a few hours. Our trademark, Edited Highlights Of Hamsterley route was the plan, a cunning plan which visits the best of the ‘official’ tracks in as little miles as possible. The cheeky trails which run through the trees are nothing but a mudfest at this time of year and best left to those who enjoy that sort of thing. Our route starts with Pikes Teeth, the latest of the improved tracks, always fun once the first climb of the day is despatched, the lower section now featuring a flowing selection of berms and drop offs. The Other Fireman’s first visit to Hamsters and he was impressed. From the bottom of Pikes Teeth, we rode along the fire road, dropping down to the river at Rocky Road, crossing the water at the bridge, then following the riverside track to another fire road climb. Up here to Route 666, which we always ride straight past because it’s simply not worth the effort. Oddsox is more like it, the first section is fast and open, huge berms with roller coaster descents before changing character and nipping into the woods to weave between the trees, eventually dropping down to the valley bottom near the exit of Nitrous.
A brief regroup to regain our breath and point out the path jump at the end of Nitrous to the novices and we began the long climb to Transmission, the muddy, rooty section not going dab-free for anyone today despite some sterling efforts. Pausing at the sacrificial altar for a votive energy bar or two, we marvelled at how well the day was turning out, a Simpsons sky above the trees, tracks only slightly damp - what more could we ask for. Transmission came and went, followed by Accelerator - so good we did it twice. At the entrance to the final section, Nitrous, another cyclist managed a spectacular over the bars on the slabby intro rocks, landing heavily before his bike added insult to injury by flying in the air and crashing down on his prone body. He put a brave face on it and rose laughing and joking, top man, I think I would have laid there until some nice men in a helicopter scraped me off the track and dropped me into a hospital bed. Leaving a respectable time for the stunt man to reach the bottom we followed without incident but with lots of enjoyment on the varied track which culminates in the aforementioned path jump, followed by a swoopy bit of bermage. We did not feel the need to miss out the berms and ride directly across the field as some retards have taken to doing in the hope of recording better Strava times.
Another gruesome climb followed after we crossed the river and made our way up to Section 13, our NSP (Natural Stopping Point) at the Descend huts was almost mandatory, tired legs and for me, the extra weight of my new Chunky Monkey tyres making it all seem extra hard today. Section 13 was running well, The Other Fireman succumbed to some loose gravel on the last bend, managing to fall off in front of some bloke with a camera - he’ll learn. The next section - Boneshaker is probably the most old school of all the official tracks, basically a muddy groove, filled with rocks and roots, which weaves down the hillside, although a fallen tree blocking the trail give it a bit of extra interest today. The new ‘improved’ finish, which is not an improvement and feels as though it never finishes was given a miss in favour of the original ending and a marginally longer climb on the road to Special K. Another Hamster’s original, Special K now has a vicious bomb hole and a wooden wall ride, the wall ride best avoided when it is damp, which is most of the time to be honest, as The Ginger One found out one day. He found it particularly difficult to count the money he never spends with a broken finger.
We all made the bottom with bones unbroken, ready to start on the ultimate section - Brainfreeze which first involved negotiating another of Storm Desmond’s cast offs. The wooden drop off, Brainfreeze’s, main feature was unsullied by our tyres, the chicken run living up to it’s name as we all replaced discretion with valour. Only the Skill’s Loop remained, even this contained a fallen tree, the remainder of the loop was fine, although most of the old North Shore stuff has been removed. It was a fitting end to a fun-filled few hours, a route of some brevity but still in excess of 2,000 feet of ascent - so I suppose that gave us an equal amount of descent, worth every lung-bursting, heart-thumping, thigh-burning pedal turn against the cruel mistress gravity.
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