Practising for The Lakes.

Mountain Bike Ride

The Bread Lad, The Ginger One.

19th February 2016 route.

The Youth could have joined us today but instead chose, entirely of his own volition, to go walking. Yes, walking, that curious slow motion way of traversing moors and fells, favoured by people with a penchant for red socks, map cases, floppy hats and ski poles for whom adrenalin rush remains merely a concept. He was subjected to the mandatory ritual abuse and made aware that he would be held responsible for the next walker-laid singletrack obstruction we find but could not be dissuaded from his chosen course. With heavy hearts we let him continue but our disappointment was intense, it was like finding out your son is a male prostitute in Soho.

The three of us met in a cold and sunny Lordstones car park ready for a short but hard challenge, which, ironically, contained an unusual amount of walking. Training for some of the Lake District hike a bike epic adventures we are planning for this year. We were walking sooner than we thought as the first slope up to The Fronts was covered in lingering snow overlaying sloppy mud which our technical climbing skills were unable to conquer. The remainder of The Fronts track was in similar condition, unable to decide whether to be frozen or thawed, a morasse of mud, snow and ice which slowed our normal god-like athletic swiftness to that of mere mortals. Still faster than walkers though.

Soon we  were shouldering the bikes for our first hike of the day, onward and upward on the Cleveland Way as it passes over Cold Moor. Turning right at the summit, we picked up the bridleway to Garfitt Gap which, despite being downhill, was a bit tricky, again owing to the winter conditions. There were more than a few hesitations, always accompanied by some variant on “It’ll be better in the dry” or “We’ll save that one for the summer.” Fun over, more pushing and carrying eventually brought us to the top of The Wainstones, a well-known conglomeration of boulders, pinnacles and small cliffs much loved by local climbers. We had a little breather on top of the central wall looking at the inscrutable face of Sphinx Rock gazing impassively back towards Lordstones, before continuing over Hasty Bank on a nicely paved track which soon went steeply downhill. Too steeply for incompetents like us, it was not long before we resorted to pedestrianism, truly a practice for The Lakes.

Reaching the road at Clay Bank, less than four miles travelled in an hour, our average speed was boosted by the downhill tarmac to Chop Gate, although the headwind did not exactly help. On the road to Beak Hills, the wind became an advantage, pushing us upward to Cringle Moor, the last carry of the day, a lung-wrenching, calf-burning, continuously steep, ascent on stone steps made harder by the predicted rain beginning to close in. From the top our final objective came into view, the Carlton Bank downhill track (which is actually on a spur of Cringle Moor). A few quick snaps at the Alex Falconer seat and we were off, not precisely a flawless ascent but regardless of the mud and water the whole team reached the bottom uninjured, always an advantage. Somewhat later than usual, despite the brevity of the ride, three mud-covered wretches sat amongst the half-term customers thronging Lordstones cafe, everyone except us clean and tidy, unsullied by their 30 metre walk from the car park.