The Pensioner Reprised.

Mountain Bike Ride.

The Pensioner, The Bread Lad, Uncle Ian.

20th February route.

Returning to the fray for the first time in a few weeks, The Pensioner returned to once again give us the benefit of his unique brand of curmudgeonly negativity and imaginative profanity. Danby was the lucky recipient of our custom, following the usual amount of faffing, we found ourselves following The Pensioner up the hill toward Clitherbeck Farm, as he had attempted to sneak off in the lead. Reeling him back in, as the roadies say, we paused at the entrance to Clitherbeck Farm before splitting into two teams. The Bread Lad and me took the off-road track and The Pensioner and Uncle Ian remained on tarmac, the competition was on, last one to Danby Beacon is a footballer/interior designer/kiddy fiddler/rambler* (*delete as appropriate). The road team won.

We admired the view from the beacon for a while before enjoying the rocky downhill track of Lealholm Rigg, again splitting at a bifurcation, The Pensioner sensibly opting to continue in a gravity assisted direction, while the remaining trio attempted to find a track over the corner of the moor, highly visible on Google Earth, not quite so obvious at ground level. Suffice to say, we found a track, wet, muddy and leading in the right direction, after a while it kindly went downhill, eventually depositing us on the road some distance from the patiently waiting Pensioner, who was stood at the end of the track we ought to have been on. Not that we were lost of course, temporarily misplaced perhaps or merely exploring the possibilities for future rides. Lost? Us? Unheard of.

The wind, which up to now had been somewhat beneficial decided it’s benefactor period was at an end and began to hit us from the left quarter, the usual slog along the Oakley Walls road made twice as hard by the natural action of air moving from high pressure to low pressure or God trying to blow us backwards. Eventually we all reached the rock strewn double-track down Oakley Side, which was fun in a lumpy, bumpy, bouncy, mud-splattered face sort of fashion. Except for The Pensioner who professed to have hated every minute. He liked the ascent to Danby Castle on the other side of the valley even less but still dragged himself along the Crossley Side road, despite the wind, which now meant business, throwing in some vicious gusts which had us all battling to make progress.

The ascent to Ainthorpe Rigg begins on soggy grass, higher up turning to loose rock gullies which become rock slabs near the top, our usual high point between two rocks was reached before bikes were shouldered for the hike a bike to the top. All downhill from here, a pity the track has been sanitised beyond belief, the only saving grace being it is now faster than previously without the rocks and technical gullies to negotiate, it’s simply let the brakes off and go as fast as you dare. In our case, not very, particularly as the side wind tried (and succeeded) to push us off line.

A 30mph road blast through the hamlet of Ainthorpe, led by The Pensioner, who has not lost his ability to liven up in sight of the cafe, took us back to Danby and the day’s primary objective, the Stonehouse Bakery. Unfortunately so full we had to sit outside, the customers seated indoors failing to wither and disperse in the face of The Pensioner’s wave of silent loathing and muttered comments regarding “us regulars”.