Squelching From Square Corner.

Mountain Bike Ride

The Breadlad, Trainee#2, The Youth.

10th March route

The Square Corner microclimate, that weather anomaly where everything in the confines of the car park is colder and damper than the rest of the world is firmly in force today as we shiver gently waiting for The Breadlad to arrive. Recent tree felling has made the whole length of The Mad Mile visible, a white line snaking up the eastern flank of Black Hambleton, today's  crew of shirkers were inordinately pleased when we turned off into Silton Woods instead of puffing and panting our way up that white line. They were even more pleased when we rocked up at the downhill track, although it had involved a bit of swamp bashing to reach that point, a squelching path through soggy grass, which someone had kindly rode a horse along to make this bit more challenging. The downhill track is suffering a bit from the weather and notices have appeared exhorting people not to build trails. Not sure what the legal status is currently but no signs prohibit riding, so away we went down the muddy track, the majority of it rideable. Although probably not ridden in the style envisioned by its creators; in better conditions we will flow like mercury down the track, carving berms, floating over roots and casually manualing the doubles. Today, well you know, it's a bit greasy and the roots are wet and I left my pads in the car and it's winter innit? Elbow pads, not incontinence pads, not quite at that stage yet.

Casualty free we reached the bottom, boasting some of the slowest times ever recorded on Strava for this segment, nice to know we're flying the flag for the oldies. A mile or so of tarmac took us to Kepwick, where the infamous bank was given a miss - more collective relief - in favour of following the road to Cowesby and eventually Brick Shed Cottage. The red Paradise Trail drops down to here from Cowesby Moor and we were checking out a rumour the path from the moor had been resurfaced, essentially riding this section of the red route in reverse. We pushed a short section through a churned up field, where a small herd of bullock's ignored us in favour of a chomping a load of hay, leading to a gate and what used to be an overgrown gully, previously unrideable, is now a nicely gravelled, steep but cycle-friendly track. But not for far. The remainder of the track is unchanged, rocks and mud leading to Cowesby Moor: we were soon pushing. The continuation, across the moor, surfaced a year or two ago is gradually returning to swamp but still a million times better than the original track.

A more amenable climb through Boltby Forest, passes some substantial trees I remember being planted. How can I be that old? I'm sure someone just added thirty years onto my life when I wasn't paying attention. Fire roads took us up to the Drove Road, a short distance further and we were at High Paradise Farm, the tearoom now open summer hours. A friendly welcome, hearty portions and all downhill back to the car. Okay, two out of three ain't bad as Hartlepool United's most famous supporter sang. The welcome was friendly, the portions were immense, so maybe it’s not quite downhill all the way.

Stomachs full to bursting point, the ride back along The Drove Road seemed less enticing than an hour previously, even with the benefit of a tail wind, but it had to be done, albeit at a leisurely pace. The Mad Mile in the sensible direction is surely one of the finest finishes to a ride in the country. Today was no different, a pedal free blast on rocks and gravel, all the way back to the car.