Cross Bike Ride
Climbing Simon, Dilettante Dom.
In a last ditch attempt to get some training in before the clif cross ride on Sunday another cross bike venture across the moors was embarked upon by two process operators and an escaped day person. We met in the car park at Lealholm, which has a toilet block so seedy it would not be out of place in the most run down inner city - The Chairman paid several visits - before 10am, something The Pensioner would never have countenanced, we set off on tarmac, warming up on the hill out of Lealholm. A few more miles on tarmac took us to Danby Park, the entrance guarded by Shrek’s swamp, which was a shock for the day person’s bike on it’s first off-road adventure. Luckily the path improves in the park and it was not long before we were on the road, passing beneath Castleton, making our way steadily to the hamlet of Westerdale, where we had the pleasure ascending the third of the three peaks beloved by local roadies.
We reached the summit somewhat chastened, a little out of practice at hill climbing, to say the least. Thankfully we were able to turn off road on a wide track which undulated it’s way across Westerdale Moor, through the steep down and up at Hunter’s Wath, continuing over Waites Moor and down to pass the picturesque Esklets crags. The track ahead climbs up to the old railway track from Blakey Bank to Bloworth Crossing and is visible from some distance away, a seemingly vertical line dropping down the moor, taunting us. Steep and loose, we hauled ourselves upward, not without a struggle but eventually we reached the rail track and recovered. Somewhat speedier, the road at Blakey Bank was gained and crossed, to pick up the continuation of the railway. Pausing to admire the view over Rosedale, a herd of sheep suddenly stampeded towards us, apparently convinced we were hiding a bushel of turnips about our persons, ovine uproar surrounded us but we managed to force a way through the baaing horde and continue to Bank Top, the flat track allowing us to gain a bit of speed in parts. Obviously the sheep were unaware of Dom’s Bishop Auckland heritage where attractive sheep do not remain unmolested for long.
Chimney Bank came next, thankfully downwards, depositing us directly to the door of Graze On The Green, Rosedale Abbey’s best cafe where a fine selection of tempting goodies waited to be consumed. The scrawny-buttocked one still ate frugally, obviously eating a whole sandwich or something would leave him looking like an anaconda which had just swallowed a goat - not a good look in Lycra. Reluctantly we left the cafe and began the climb out of Rosedale Abbey, the long, boring, drag only enlivened by the ever amusing Bell End Farm, well it always amuses The Pensioner. Thankfully the road levels out before the urge to lay down on the verge and burst into tears becomes too strong. Returning to the more interesting off-road stuff, we took the sublime track past Trough House and around head of Fryupdale with awesome views down the valley.
After a short bit of tarmac, the off-road theme continued with a descent of Glaisdale Rigg, the rough surface battering our arms, vibrations through the rigid forks blurring vision and quivering scrotums. Dropping down through Glaisdale, we continued to cross the river - by the bridge, Climbing Simon would have been swept away like a piece of straw in the ford. A short but nicely varied section took us alongside the river back to Lealholm where Simon promptly dived back into the seedy conveniences, maybe he really has a bladder the size of tangerine or was he checking his phone number is still on the wall? Who knows?
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