From Utopia To Siberia.
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Have you ever had one of those dreams where everything is perfect and then the alarm goes off and you’re thrust back into cold, cruel reality? That sums up March 2022 perfectly. We had more than a week of weather which wouldn’t have been out of place in July before it was swept away by snow and ice. Not that it kept us in or anything, Terra Trailblazers are made of sterner stuff - well, some of them anyway. I even managed to tick High Cup Nick off the bucket list, the North Pennines’ most stunning viewpoint, well worth the slog up.
The last two rides of march are blogged below.
As the song goes, summer has gone so fast, wake me up when September ends; the weather has reverted to the poor side of mediocre, cold, grey and drizzly and it is forecast to become worse as the week goes on. Me, Simon T. and Bingo Bob went for a hot lap around Hamsterley, which was holding up to the poor weather apart from the inevitable arse-soaking puddles. The first side, Section 13, Boneshaker, Special K and Brain Freeze passed without any incidents but a lot of big grins. It has been a while since we were here, some sections have only just reopened following storm damage from earlier in the year, and it makes a pleasant change to blast down a few man-made trails. A long climb took us up the other side of the valley, Bingo Bob harnessed the power of electricity and slipped in an extra loop as we slogged up the fire roads. I bet that wasn’t what Michael Faraday had in mind when he was busy inventing electricity, the thought of electrifying penny-farthings so middle-aged men didn’t have to get out of breath playing on North Durham cycle trails probably never occurred to him. After the roller-coaster goodness of K-Line, we rested at the stone table on Transmission, to be honest, it strikes me more sacrificial altar than stone table, maybe to eviscerate the odd militant rambler caught walking up the trails. It’s just a thought. My rear tyre was looking a bit soft at this point, there is a theory that tubed tyres ought to be as firm as apples, tubeless should be like squeezing an orange, mine was getting towards one of those loose skinned satsumas your nana gives you at Christmas. I do have a bit of a rep for running my rubber on the soft side, better grip and all that, it would last the rest of the ride easily. Oh no it wouldn’t, I felt it bottom out after impacting a rock on one of the jumps and very shortly the back end was snaking about in a most disturbing fashion. Hoping it had simply burped off the rim, it was pumped up at the start of Accelerator and again at the start of Nitrous and again at the bottom of Nitrous, this wasn’t looking good. Went back to the car to treat the awkward tyre to a bit of track pump action, it soon became apparent the problem was a tear in the sidewall, too large for the sealant to handle. Plugged it with an anchovy but that failed to stop the leak, only slow it down, so I made the ultimate sacrifice and watched my companions ride off to have more fun on the trails while my bike sat sulking on the roof rack. Yes, I could have put a tube in - if I’d had one, a comprehensive investigation of the contents of my pack revealed I have been tubeless in more ways than one for quite some time.
Managed to plug the dodgy tyre and get it to hold air, just in time for it to start snowing, yes snowing. After the summer gloves and bare knees of the past fortnight, we’re back to multi-layering and a scarcity of companions. I rode from Great Ayton on slushy back roads to Aireyholme Farm and up to Roseberry Common, the mighty Roseberry Topping slowly being engulfed by thick grey cloud as I neared the gate. Snow leached from the sky, turning to hail as I carried my bike up the steps, battering me and the bike, hailstones the size of marbles hitting the spokes, orchestrating a tuneless cacophony of pings and dings. From the top, Roseberry Topping was barely visible through the clag, Newton Moor was covered in virgin snow, I was considering bailing on a ride for the second time this week, when the storm blew over, the sky went from grey to blue and bad day became good day. A few Guisborough Woods’ trails were given a try, in a slip sliding away sort of fashion, which was fun. I even pedalled all the way up to Highcliffe Nab at one point, to survey the snowy landscape prior to having an icy blast down Codhill Heights and finishing with the Lonsdale Bowl and Fingerbender Bank. The rise in temperature gave birth to cascades and rivulets of melt water, streaming down the bank towards Gribdale. I followed, splashing through newly - formed pools all the way to the road, returning to Great Ayton for the inevitable bakery meal deal.
Clicking on the route names will take you to the Strava page for the route. Where you can marvel at how slow we are.
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